God Speaks Daily

“The only thing complaining ever did for me was change people’s opinions of me.”

This saying reminds me of two things. One, complaining doesn’t accomplish anything. It’s just a way of venting frustration. It’s okay to complain, but I don’t want to make a habit of it.

The second thing this quote reminds me of is many people use complaints and tragedies, whether these are health issues or they’re broke or whatever calamity is going on in their lives to attract sympathy and compassion — to attract community.

I actually suffered my way through this cycle of complaining for a while (gratefully, it was only a short period of my life) where I somehow came to believe I needed to have some kind of calamity in my life every day, so I had something to tell people about it.

Boy, was I miserable during this period of my life. Luckily, I got over the drama queen phase, and moved on to concentrating on the good things in my life.

I learned that it’s a lot more fun to share good things going on in my life with people than it is to force people to listen to whatever self-imposed exaggerated tragedy I created and then blew out of proportion that day.

I want people coming into my life because of who I am, not because I’m needy or broken or anything else. At the same time, I don’t want needy and/or broken people in my life.

Today I see many drama queens and trauma kings as I go through my life. A drama queen is someone who is upset about a current happening, a trauma kings is someone who dwells on a past experience.

I have a rule that people who start complaining about anything within a short time of meeting me for the first time, do not become my friends.

Think about it. . .

When we first meet people, we talk about the weather, favorite TV shows and bands, mutual interests and other shallow things to get to know each other. Then as we get to know each other, we open up more, and talk on a deeper level.

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” Dale Carnegie in “How To Win Friends And Influence People.”

Rather than me telling you what the effect this saying had on my life, how about you – the reader – sharing your experiences with us. Use the comments box below.

“Be a simple kind of man. Be something you love and understand.”

This line from a Lynyrd Skynyrd song, is a little bit different from the Desperado song. It’s also a bit different from the quote from the play Harvey. But it has the same meaning.

This song is also about being simple, not being complicated, not being overly-involved. It’s about just living and enjoying life and enjoying the people you have around you, and enjoying and attracting interesting people.

Every time I hear this song, it reminds me my life is good. It reminds me my life doesn’t have to be complicated. I don’t have to be profound. I don’t have to be important. All I need to do is be myself and be honest with myself and take responsibility for myself.

I had a peanut butter sandwich!!

“Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses?”

When I was 14 I dropped out of high school and went work to in a cafeteria. I worked there for about a month before they fired me, but that’s another story.

While I was there, the assistant manager used to look at me and sing this line from the Eagles song.

I never knew what he was talking about.

About 25 years later, I was driving my car and the song came on. All of a sudden I understood what he had meant.

The song says, “I know that you’ve got your reasons, these things that are pleasing you can hurt you somehow.” The song is all about expectations. The final line is, “It may be raining, but there’s a rainbow above you. You’d better let somebody love you before it’s too late.”

I think that’s what he was saying to me. At that time, I was a shy, drug addled teenager with no future. Even worse than those shortcomings, I had no one around me to help me move into the future. I had nothing before me.

Sadly, it took me over 20 years to understand the meaning here. It took me decades to get to the point where I would start opening up and, as it says, “Let somebody love you.”

This song also says “these things that are pleasing you can hurt you somehow.” And that was what I had gotten into. I was insecure and incapable of interacting with the world around me. So, I just escaped any way that I could, and never listened to anyone around me.

For 20-some years, I acted like the desperado. When I realized what he had meant all those years ago, it was with tears running down my face because I had wasted such a big portion of my life.

“It’s not possible for someone else to embarrass you.
When you feel embarrassed by the actions of others,
you are choosing this feeling.”

This saying hits home for me in two ways.

One, for long periods in my life, I had friends around me who were always embarrassing me. I was ashamed of their actions.

Oddly, once they left my life or I left theirs, I found myself surrounded by people who were ashamed and embarrassed by my actions.

Later when I saw this saying, I realized this was about me not feeling comfortable with myself and trying to define myself by the people around me. In the first case when I was embarrassed, they were not living up to my expectations. And in the second case, I wasn’t living up to the expectations of others.

The truth is if I feel okay about myself, anything that someone around me does shouldn’t embarrass me. It’s not a reflection on me, it’s just what they’re doing.

Today I try to remember this saying. I also try to enjoy it when my friends and myself have fun, because it can be quite entertaining.

When I judge others it’s usually because I’m judging myself.