Hidden needs drive us
“Hidden needs drive us.”
For years I found myself in a string of poor relationships. I was never happy in them and they tended to last much longer than they should have.
Many of the women became obsessed with me, and when I ended the relationships began stalking me.
These were always women with poor self-esteem. After all, what woman with any self-worth would have wanted to be with me?
When I started improving myself, I realized all these relationships had met my needs. I’d found women who would not leave me.
As a child I’d felt abandoned by my mother when my parents divorce. As an adult, a strong relationship ended when I began confronting my drug addiction. Again, I felt abandoned. My hidden inner need was a fear of abandonment.
Satisfying this inner need became detrimental. Rather than attracting a woman to challenge me, to encourage me, to be supportive in my times of need I found women who wouldn’t leave me.
Identifying other hidden needs comes only through self-awareness. Learning what really drives us and why we make the decisions we do, helps us improve our lives.
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