If you want positive encouraging people around you
“If you want positive encouraging people around you, you must be a positive and encouraging person.”
When I first started looking for positive people in my life, very few of them wanted anything to do with me. As I spent some time looking at that, I started hearing things like, “You’re the most negative person I’ve ever met.” That’s a quote.
I soon realized two things were going on. One, in many cases, I was displaying my knowledge by tearing apart other people’s dreams. This was normal behavior in my original environment.
And two, I had poor communication skills that caused people not to hear what I was saying.
For example, when someone explained an idea, I would say, “No. Why don’t you try doing it this way,” instead of saying, “That’s a great idea! Have you considered adding. . . ?”
In the first case no is a stop word. As soon as I say no people feel that I’m attacking them. They decide I’m a negative person, and stop listening to me.
Whereas when I say, “That’s a great idea! Have you considered…” they listen.
It becomes a positive response. It becomes an encouraging response. It opens conversations rather than closing them.
As I made those changes in my communication skills, as I stopped feeling the need to destroy others’ dreams to feel good about myself, I began to have encouraging, supportive people come into my life.
Who would imagine such a little change in my interactions with the people around me have such a dramatic result?
Another great post, it showed me how and where I should work on my own communication skills. Thanks for the outstanding input.
That’s a gentle reminder and much appreciated.
Nice, thank you
Positive and encouraging communication with our own selves is also so important! Saying YES to our own ideas can transform our dreams into reality. Thanks for the reminder!